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I´ve been involved in the goa trance scene since -96, and I´ve been doing psychedelic drugs for as long. I was feeling fed up with the scene, which I felt had become more and more crass and commercial. At the same time I felt that chemical drugs weren´t as exciting as I they´d once been (ganja, mushrooms and salvia are still doing the trick, though). To sum it up, I decided to go to one last party and to say goodbye to the chemicals thoroughly - so my girlfriend and me went to a big out-door festival called Solipse in Ozora, Hungary. It was going on for a total of ten days (yes, that is suicidal), culminating in a full solar eclipse.

Everybody went totally mad with the chemicals, doing mixtures I hadn´t even considered possible, e g LSD-2CB-synthetic mescaline-GHB-MDMA-hashish. Fear and Loathing in Hungary, so to say. Of course, the site had its share of acid casualties. Personally, I saved myself for the eclipse and only smoked myself into oblivion.

Come the big day, we had breakfast, showered, rolled joints for later and made a big deal out of being straight during the eclipse. We were pretty much alone in that aspect. The eclipse was pure magic, but this is a trip report, so I won´t digress any further. It should be mentioned, though, that everyone was totally in awe afterwards, which set a nice atmosphere for the trip.

I started by doing a white tablet called "Mitsubishi" and smoking some charras mixed with ganja. This was straight after the eclipse ended, around 1 p.m. I do MDMA very rarely and haven´t had a really good experience with it for the past two years. This one was great, though, with me cuddling away with my girlfriend, telling her I love her, getting an extremely pleasurable massage, that kind of thing.

After an hour or so I decided it was time to drop some LSD. My little party bag contained several kinds of acid, but I wanted to do some Fat Freddys´ Cat, a really strong and pure brand that supposedly originates in Amsterdam and contains 250 ug. The real thing is printed on very thick paper and this one did seem a little thin, but I´m an optimist. I ripped the blotter in half and put it between my upper lip and my gum. I always come on after 10-15 minutes on this particular type of acid, so after 45 minutes of no effects, I decided I´d been had. Now this may seem strange to you, but anyone who´s had the real FFC knows what I´m talking about. I reckoned that since it was most likely a copy, it would probably be weak.

So I ripped off a piece of a blotter called Sacred Spirit and then a piece of another blotter called Che Guevara, put them next to the supposed FFC and smoked another joint. And then, after another fifteen minutes or so, the first blotter _did_ come on, and then things started to get weird. All in all, I´d estimate I took something like 200 ug of LSD, a fair trip on its own, with the MDMA and dope enhancing it quite a bit.

Me, my woman and two friends were walking through a beautiful meadow. This was in august, the flowers smelled lovely, it wasn´t too hot and the blue sky was dotted with fluffy, very white clouds. We were walking away from the festival area towards nothing in particular. All of us were tripping, but no one quite as hard as I.

Some people will tell you that there´s only one kind of acid, that what you find on a blotter is either LSD or it´s not. Bullshit, IMHO, every batch of acid is a little different from any other. Don´t ask me to explain it chemically, I just know that this is the way things are and most experienced trippers agree with me on this one.

These three kinds of acid seemed to be giving me three different types of trips. One was wild, chaotic, confusing but pleasant. The other was mild, mellow and full of creative thoughts. The third was graphic and visual, but a bit unfocused. This all seemed to take place simultaneously and was very confusing. I literally felt that three separate beings were fighting over the possession of my attention. Then, suddenly, they all seemed to go away, as if to talk things over and for five minutes or so I didn´t feel as if I was tripping anymore. It was all very strange.

And then they came back and explained the situation to me - they were going to have a party in my head, and I was to be invited only if I behaved. I tried to communicate this new insight in the social life of psychedelic entities to my friends, but failed to do so. Anyway, I was enjoying myself immensely.

Eventually we reached a grassy hill with a stunning view and smoked another joint. The clouds were full of the most amazing patterns that seemed to be mixtures of Celtic and Mayan designs. Sometimes there were faces or other, more bizarre stuff. Our conversation was now limited to exclamations along the lines of "Wow", "Ugh" and "It´s all, like, cosmic".

After a while we ran out of pre-rolled joints (and we were way to zonked to roll anything), so we decided to go back. On the way we met an entire family of techno-drag-queens on stilts, branding purple 18-th century outfits. This was slightly confusing.

Back at our camp I got my special smoking mixture out. It contained Indian charras, skunk weed, tobacco, dried eucalyptus leaf and half a crushed up Mitsubishi.

A little piece of advice to the novice drug fiend who wants to try this: MDMA and the binders in the pills can get very, very hot without evaporating completely. If smoked in a regular pipe, this sediment can burn holes in your lungs. This is why it´s imperative to crush the pill as thoroughly as possible, mix it with tobacco or ganja (so it won´t lump together) and to smoke it through a chillum (straight, Indian pipe, made of stone or clay), using a saafi (a piece of damp cloth, folded two or three times), between the pipe and your hands.

The problem was I didn´t have a chillum, so I left all the trippers behind and went to look for one. I was tripping hard, yet I found that I could communicate my needs to people I met. Possibly because everyone else was just as wasted.

Eventually, I found a group of German hippies in their forties who had a chillum and I smoked it properly, that is, standing with one knee on the ground, head tilted back, elbows raised above my head, sucking on the chillum through my knuckles. When done this way, the tokes you get are massive, smoke filling your lungs completely and leaking out through your mouth and nostrils. Boom Shiva! It was an intense rush of energy and I was finding it difficult to stay upright.

When I got back to camp, my friends offered me some speed wrapped in a tiny ball of toilet paper. I´ve tried different types of amphetamines at a few occasions and I didn´t like it at all way to controlled, pushy and aggressive, not to mention the horrible come-down. But I´d heard it was great together with MDMA and this was supposed to be really good stuff, besides this was my goodbye trip to chemicals, and, well hey I found the speed changed the trip somewhat. It did give me quite enjoyable rushes of energy and stretching my body was very pleasant, but it made me very aware of how imperfect everything around me was, that it was cold, that my shoes were wet, that it had become dark and that there were no lights out there. At the same time it also made me jittery and I had a strong urge of moving on somewhere. In order to get rid of this new, jumpy element in the trip, I smoked yet more ganja and charras. By now, I must have smoked something like two grams of dope by myself.

The amphetamine made me run off to the ditch every 15 minutes or so, which was a bit annoying, but it did feel wonderful to relieve myself. I´m standing there, pissing away, happily sighing, and suddenly there´s this little curtain being drawn down inside my head. It looked just like the rolling curtain feature in Windows, the word "fluid" being written on it. Simultaneously, there´s a little *ping* and this professionally courteous voice says: "Fluid. Your body needs fluid." in just that annoyingly detached mode of the talking car warning system.

I went whoa! and downed a bottle of water, and couple of minutes later this sudden feeling of well being spread through my body. The next time I went for a leak a new sign came up, saying "salt". I found some salt and, again, after a few minutes I felt better. This kept happening throughout the trip, the signs alternating between water, salt, sugar and various vitamins. It was strange but cool.

It was now night, perhaps before midnight, and it was time to get into the nitrous oxide. I had a cartridge out of my soda streamer and went to some strange, wild place. For something like five minutes I was just giggling hysterically and watching the colours swirl. It was fucking amazing. Then I did that Final Cartridge that suddenly brings you to places the previous hits have only sort of advised you about. Reality completely vanished. No ego whatsoever. And then I went to The Fourth Dimension.

As you know, the regular three dimensions are length, width and depth. The fourth one, it turns out, is Inside (I later realised that "inside the entire object at the same time" could correspond to "time", as only time is everywhere at once). I´m not a scholar and the last time I took physics was in eight grade. But here I was, being shown pedagogically correct diagrams of how the web of reality is spun. There were three parallel lines (Length), swinging out to form a pattern of squares (Width), then swinging out again, forming a cube made up of three times three smaller cubes (Depth). And then, from _inside_ the lines, the cube swung out again, impossibly creating a visible fourth dimension, that being Inside. Somehow I was getting the impression that by doing thus, the cube was nine folding itself. Later it struck me that 9 is three squared (don´t know if this is making any sense to you, it was like a mathematical genius was trying to explain quantum physics to a child, using very easy methods but still only getting a fraction of the message through).

Imagine this, you´re looking down on a square and then, as you move away a bit, you notice that the square has depth, that in fact it´s a cube. The object has been a cube all along, you just didn´t notice until now. The difference between your perception of the object as a square or a cube lies in your change of perspective. The trip was showing me that the fourth dimension was to the third what the third was to the second namely a change in perspective Then I saw the creation of a foetus, how one cell divided into two, then four, then eight, only I was seeing it backwards billions of small cells were being lumped together and by the second they were growing larger and larger. Suddenly I realised that the lumps were forming the faces of my friends, all of them looking shocked or frightened.

And as I came back into this world I realised that I had been doing something really strange, because everyone was staring at me. They told me I had thrashed about for half a minute, flailing my arms around with this really insane look on my face, staring with wide open eyes but obviously not seeing anything. They were pretty upset about the whole thing and made me promise not to do any more nitrous for a while.

Coming down from the trip (by then I´d been doing drugs for at least twenty hours), the acid offered some valuable insights into my emotional life and on how to gain teachings from the psychedelic experience. I was "told" that I should stop smoking hash or ganja mixed with tobacco, as this was really bad for my lungs. I was also told that I should lay off the chemicals for a while, as they had nothing more to offer in terms of spiritual growth, until I´d reached the "next step of development", whatever that meant. Instead of chemicals, I would come across a plant material that would teach me new things.

Bearing this in mind, I went out the next day to swap my remaining acid for ganja. I didn´t find any, however, so I sat down by a pole and rested, when suddenly a friend from Amsterdam popped out of nowhere and told me he had a bag of this fortified Salvia Divinorum that he wanted to get rid of, and did I know anyone that has some acid for sale...

All in all, this trip was a powerful and strange experience and I stayed off the chemicals for a while afterwards. I´m glad I did this, but I don´t think I´ll do N2O, MDMA or amphetamines again, at least for a few years to come. It was nice, sure, but I´ve done that now, it´s time to move on.